Marriage and In-laws
The responsibility of married couples to each other involves a total commitment. This means literally “forsaking all others”. (Author, Norman Wright)
In the beginning God made a man and a woman, that’s why a man leaves his father and mother and gets married. (Mark 10:6-7 CEV) This isn’t intended to hurt anyone; it’s a matter of priorities and needed for success in marriage. When we get married, in a sense, we do marry the whole family, and our in-laws play a significant role in our lives, however if the role they are given is too big, these relationships can be more of a problem or hindrance in our marriage.
In law’s can help us have a deeper understanding of each other and why we are the way we are, and do the things we do. They also can be a great source of support in many ways but there really has to be a healthy balance. We can no longer depend on our parents for financial support, and we must depend on each other for emotional needs as well. It’s easy to feel like the ‘other woman’ or ‘other man’ if your husband is a “mama’s boy” or if your wife continues to seek her mother or father for conversation/emotional or financial needs rather than you.
Your spouse is now your primary relationship, not your parents. The proper order of commitment is God first, then your spouse, then children, then other family and friends. Without keeping a proper perspective, this can cause many problems & strains on your relationship. The responsibility is on you to keep it balanced & make sure that the boundaries are not overstepped. It doesn’t have to mean alienating anyone or hurting their feelings. But it does mean taking a step back and taking a look at what you are doing to encourage these boundaries to be stepped over and meddle in your life, possibly letting of your attachments & habits, and establishing your own families’ patterns to follow.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s GREAT to have close relationships with your family….especially your parents, but if the attachment is stronger than with your spouse, and is causing problems and tension in your relationship, that is a problem and it is NOT healthy. Strings must be detached so your marriage can grow the same as a baby who must be cut from the mothers’ umbilical cord in order to eat, & grow healthy and strong.
